28. Jerry Falwell
Altar Ego
54 Points

Fact: Jerry has a fraternal twin named Gene!

Fact: When Jerry’s Liberty University needed money, it turned to the One True Messiah Himself, Rev. Sun Myung Moon!

Fact: Jerry often urges his followers to pray for Hustler publisher Larry Flynt!

Fact: Jerry doesn’t trust purse-carrying Teletubby Tinky Winky!

But AHOY trusts Jerry to always make the A-List!


Anonymous John Berdsford Tipton said...

The Teletubby controversy is more complex than you liberals make it out to be. Winky was purple, a boistrously effeminate color. And if you ever watched Winky closely, studied its mannerisms, its every movement, you'd see how the creature screamed multi-sexuality with every inch of its foul jib.

I myself once watched Winky stare luridly into the camera, its sleek, bare calves spread wide and invitingly, as its tongue touched the silvery edges of its lipless mouth. It needed to be stopped. It needed to be stopped. Very very harshly, it needed to be stopped. And I would have done it. It needed to learn some very big things.

You criticize Falwell for taking action. You don't understand. Winky needed to be stopped, Very very very effectively, it needed to be stopped.

1/18/2006 7:01 PM  
Anonymous yankee_doodle_manly said...

Have you written any more about Winky? Because I would like to see it. In service to His little ones, of course. Also, pictures.

1/18/2006 7:10 PM  

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